it hurts . it hurts so much . my heart , it hurts so much . and i don't know how i can heal it . i'm dying inside . i think i'm going to be really crazy . please , help me . please . i'm not that strong . what would an adult do in this situation ? jung yunho , what will you do ? please God , give me the strength . please .

it is so easy for me to shed tears these days . my once ' very expensive ' tears had turned to worthless tears . you never know , i shed tears more than i smile and it hurts me deeply . why do you this to me ? am i that despicable ? am i too ugly to live in this world ? i don't have the rights to have a friend ?

among all friends , why it must be you girls who hurt me the most ? why it must be you girls ? i love you girls so much that it hurts . i thought we would be together forever , holding hands , achieving our dreams one by one . but , what is this ?

i just figured out that i am a very patient person thanks to you girls . i endured it so much . i pretend to be deaf , i blinded my eyes and keep this faith so strong in my heart . guess what , i am a human too . and now , all hell will break loose . trust me .

i told you , if you don't want to be my best friends . just say it . i won't bitch - slapped you . i just want to move on . because i'm tired of everything . you don't need to scorn at me or give me the dirty look . do you know how much it hurts watching you give me the look ?

yes , i'm closer with fatin nadhirah now . because obviously you girls won't talk to me anymore . and now you keep poking fun of my friendship with her . why are you doing this ? and yeah fatin , hear this , i will not force you to be my friend . it is all up in your hands . just know that i really like being friends with you . ;)

torture me emotionally . check . making me cry every single night for one whole week . check . making me have no friends . check . making me isolated among the Malays in 3 Maju . check . bitch me behind my back . check . gives me scornful look . check . making me depressed . check . makes me think everybody really hates me . check . makes me believe i am nothing to you from the start . check . you did a very good job . well done .

it just so sad . we won't get to celebrate our second birthday . no more pictures - taking . no more eating while talking in one big group . no more girls outing . no more of that . haha . i think i'm going to cry again .

i'm slowly breaking down inside . all i wanna do is cry . thank God exam is over . this is the end . we won't get anywhere . maybe , it is just not our fate to be best friends . we kept pushing the fate , and this is what i got in return . i won't believe in you girls anymore . this is the end , at last , i got the courage to throw you from my heart . good luck . ;')

guys , sorry , i ruined your mood . all i wanna say is , please be my friends . please , i lost them . they throw me away . i beg you . please be my friends . and the next time you see me in school , and if i smile and i say i'm OK , i am lying . that's a lie . i told you , Jeremy is mocking me . i am like him in every possible way . i guess this is my bus ? haha . for now , please , just stand by me and i'll be very grateful . this will take a lot of time to heal . ;')

on the brighter side , i got an A for my Sejarah . OHMYGODSUN . A for Sejarah ? i should get drunk with Yunho tonight drinking Ribena to celebrate this . ribena makes me hyper . haha .

inez ; tasha, awak suka siapa ?
me ; erm , shin woo !
inez ; and yunho .
me ; *nods *
xin ro ; ohh , awak suka orang yang matang - matang eh.
me ; hehehehe .
yuen yi ; hah ? ape lahh . mereka memang semua ada batang - batang punya .
me ; . . . . . . . . . . . . 0_0!

they are so dirty . i laughed for five minutes because of it . AHAHAHAHAHA .

Mood ; g l o o m y -